No More Waiting

By Candice Gage

Two of my Facebook friends shared a post this week from a blog titled Grace For The Road. I don’t know the name of the author — she’s just a girl from the U.K. But she shares her heart and a lot of wisdom in her post titled “I don’t wait anymore.” Check out this excerpt:

When I was 16, I got a purity ring.

And when I was 25, I took it off.

I didn’t tell anyone I was doing it — it wasn’t a statement or an emotional thing. I just slipped it off my finger that day and, before tucking it away in a box, ran my finger around the words on the familiar gold band.

“True Love Waits.” Waits.

What’s it “waiting” for, anyway?

I had my reasons for deciding not to wear it anymore. Other people might have other reasons. It’s a graveyard of hearts, this place where single church girls crash into their late 20s and early 30s. Churches see the symptoms. They scramble to reach out to the ever-growing young adult singles crowd who feels alienated by family-oriented services.

But there’s something bigger behind it than that.

Much bigger.

Visit the Grace For The Road blog to read the rest. As a Christian woman who grew up during the “True Love Waits” movement, I could really relate to the author’s experience.

Do you feel like you are waiting? If so, what are you waiting for?

1. mike said the following on September 6, 2012 at 11:21 am

   

   I tend not to like purity rings and public virginity pledges. I’m not strongly against it, mind you, and won’t criticize anyone for wearing one. However, I tend to think as a whole they aren’t good ideas for various reasons.

   For one, it creates a perverse “dare” for everyone. As if everyone is rooting for you to fail and call you a hypocrite. It should be enough that if people know you are a Christian that you at least try and adhere to its teachings which include chastity.

   Second is that it can put too much focus on one particular external act without working on the entire holistic purpose. Meaning if you are successful in simply not engaging in vaginal sex but engage in all sorts of other behaviors (e.g. oral sex, erotic fondling, pornography) you really haven’t been successful in the first place.

   Finally, and most annoyingly to guys, is that if you wear the purity ring on your marriage ring finger you create for yourself a Catch-22. The guys you would like to attract who respect the marriage covenant will not ask you out because they see the ring on your finger. But the guys who do ask you out are ones you’d best not be with because they have no reservations towards your perceived maritial status.
2. Candace said the following on September 6, 2012 at 11:38 am

   

   This was a really encouraging blogpost. Thanks for sharing, Candice! I think she sums it up really well:
   “I just didn’t want to wait anymore – didn’t want to live like I was waiting on anyone to get here.
   I already have Him … and He is everything.”

   As singles I think we all fall into the trap of seeing marriage as a prize, an end-goal, a solution to many problems, or the beginning of our real lives as adults. I’m always encouraged by singles who live fully for the Lord in ministry, missions, etc, even while they pray for their desire of a spouse.
3. jonathanarm said the following on September 6, 2012 at 8:04 pm

   

   Surprisingly I don’t have much of anything to add to this that hasn’t already been said.

   I don’t have a problem with ‘purity rings’ though I think ultimately it should be a promise you make in your heart between you and God and your future spouse.

   I agree with Candace that we shouldn’t put life on hold waiting for that special someone to come. As I have said before, our life is NOW… it doesn’t start once we marry or once we have kids or once those kids are moved out and onto college. We are living life now, and we need to be good stewards of the time that Christ has blessed us with. I believe, and have always felt that when I was obedient to Christ and serving Him, that there I would be most likely to meet my future spouse. This hasn’t happened yet, doesn’t mean I’m improperly serving Christ, but it could. And maybe it means that I’m not ready for marriage yet, which if I honestly assessed my life, I would say I’m not. However, I am aware of what I need to work on to be ready and I am making great strides to get there quick. But I am reminded of the wisdom from Ecclesiastes 3:1, “there is a season for everything.” In other words, maybe this season of singleness is a gift and not a curse. Each day is a gift from God, and I definitely want to make the most of the gifts that Christ has given me.

   May you all be encouraged, we’re all walking in this together, and I pray that we can encourage and edify each other through this process of sanctification.
4. Amelius said the following on September 6, 2012 at 9:59 pm

   

   I actually did something a little different. My parents asked me my ring size as they wanted to give me a purity ring. I gave them the size for my middle finger on my right hand. So I have a “purity” ring from my parents that encourage me to continue to pursue purity in mind and action. The neat thing is–I will always be able to wear it whether I’m married or not. You see purity is not just till you get married. Married people still have to pursue purity. Purity is an ongoing challenge and battle. So I can look down at my ring on my right hand and be reminding of my parents love and challenge for me. For now I am pursuing purity as a single woman…but Lord willing in the future, I’ll be able to continue to pursue purity while married.
5. PolarBearEverywhere said the following on September 7, 2012 at 10:09 am

   

   Amelius, You have Underpinned the Truth of the Matter, in such a way that makes the Issue Far Untouchable by the Pressures of Society, Peers, and all else that would promote shadows to encroach upon the Call to Purity.
   For the Lord, to run though we burn
   Through His Cross though life we yearn
   Not To Fear and False Appear
   But Truth in Faith and Hope so Clear
   Yet each Step So Fickle Feign
   His Strength Promised through All the Pain
   Come Sun, Come Drought Come Rain
   Beholden His Promise Earnest there is NO SHAME
6. stephaniez said the following on September 7, 2012 at 8:56 pm

   

   Best line: “A lot of girls were sold on a deal and not on a Savior.” So true!
7. Anetka said the following on September 7, 2012 at 9:46 pm

   

   Purity rings became popular well after my teen years. I would have hidden mine by now if I had been given one.

   When I was in my late 20s, I purchased an amethyst ring the weekend I was a sixth-time bridesmaid. The purchase came with a determination to memorize 1 John 4:16-19 and to recite the passage when I put the ring on to wear. That ring is a perfect ring to wear whether young, old, married or single for “I have come to know and have believed the love which God has for me.”

   God’s provision. His Love for me.
8. man said the following on September 8, 2012 at 9:37 pm

   

   This is a wonderful article.