By Candice Gage
I’ve been involved in the online dating scene for nearly three years now, and there are some aspects of the system that I will never get used to — like the vanishing trick.
It happened to me again, about a month ago.
I was contacted by a guy on a dating site (not Marry Well). He said he was impressed with my profile, and I after reading through his, I was rather impressed as well. We corresponded almost daily for a few weeks. Then — he failed to respond to a message. I could see the message had been read. I waited two weeks. Then I wrote again, saying I assumed he had decided to move on. Again, the message was read. Again, I got no response.
I’m sure I’m not the only one to have been on the wrong side of this disappearing act.
I’ve experienced this sort of thing often enough to have developed some “thick skin” in this area. I’ve learned not to get too excited — even when things seem to be going really well, even when the guy seems like a devoted follower of Christ. I’ve learned to put off hope until trust is gained.
I’ve learned to not let it get to me, but I’ll never get used to it, especially when the perpetrator is a self-proclaimed Christian.
Don’t get me wrong — I understand why people would be tempted to pull the vanishing trick. Disappearing is easy, simple, and clean. There’s no drama. You simply click a button and the situation goes away.
Disappearing is also self-centered. It ignores the good of the other person.
I’m not saying there’s never a time to refuse an answer to a message or block a match. I don’t respond to spam messages, or inappropriate comments, etc. Some sites are even set up with the expectation that you block/close someone that you aren’t interested in knowing better.
Still, in general, I think we should follow Jesus’ teaching:
“So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.” (Matthew 7:12 ESV)
As we interact with people online, we should make every effort to treat them in the manner we would want to be treated.
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