Last August Boundless published Joshua Rogers’ “Man Enough to Love a Real Woman.” In his piece, Rogers challenges men to rethink the way they choose who to date. He describes his own history in this excerpt:
I was like a lot of single, Christian guys. I just wanted to follow God’s will in finding a wife — that’s all — oh yeah, and I also wanted a modest version of the Cosmo girl. And, well, I didn’t want her to be too needy. Oh, and she also needed to be smart — really smart — but not, like, so smart that she made me feel stupid. And, of course, she needed to be spiritually mature (you know, like me). And one more thing: I wanted her to have a cool and fun personality (whatever that meant).
In other words, I wanted to date the perfect Christian girl — not a real woman.
Of course, I knew what a real woman was like. I grew up in a Christian home with lots of real women around, each of them imperfect in one way or another, yet fully feminine. These women had opinions, unshakable faith, curves, feelings, hormonal surges, weight fluctuations, talents, wrinkles and a regular need for affirmation. It didn’t bother me: It was part of who they were, and I loved them for it.
But when it came to prospective mates, I wasn’t so gracious. I figured I deserved to have the best qualities of every woman wrapped into a nice package, waiting at the end of a rainbow. And yet, despite meeting dozens of women in my quest, I could never find that perfect, Christian girl. But that didn’t stop me from looking for her — until I discovered that, in fact, I wasn’t the perfect Christian guy.
Rogers’ advice applies to woman as well — no one is perfect, and no one should expect perfection.
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