Sharing passwords
Jan 26, 2012 |
19 comments
At what point in a relationship would you feel comfortable enough to share your password to Facebook (or something else that requires a password)?
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Only marriage. Anything less invites trouble.
Marriage.
Well, it definitely needs to wait at least until engagement, but probably marriage. There would have to be a lot of trust there for me to give someone access to my Facebook and email. And it’s not just that I want to protect my own privacy, but the privacy of those I communicate with. My friend list isn’t even visible on my FB (to most people anyway) in order to protect the privacy of certain friends. A lot of the women I’m friends with have an extreme need for privacy online due to past/current situations, so I wouldn’t want to accidentally endanger them if I were to have a lapse in judgement and date a guy who is not a safe person… Additionally, these women have shared very intimate things with me that no one, except my future husband, needs to be reading. I want the women I talk with to be able to trust me, and it would damage that trust if I were to give out my FB and email password to boyfriends.
I’m not sure where I would draw the line with my future husband. I don’t believe that spouses should keep secrets from each other, and I look forward to having someone who I can share absolutely everything with so that I don’t feel like I’m carrying everything alone, but I think maybe there still needs to be a boundary there… not in the sense that I would be hiding anything, but that it would be “weird” if my husband felt a need to read absolutely everything I write and receive online. I’m not sure how I will balance privacy and openness… The women I talk with should assume that I would be sharing things with a husband, but I wouldn’t want them to feel like I was gossiping about them. I guess that my future husband and I will need to work on finding a middle ground there that respects everyone involved.
marriage… although we haven’t yet?! LOL but i guess sitting right next to each other while the other types it is close enough
what’s the point? If they are a friend on your site they’re going to see everything anyway.
I think probably marriage… or at least well into engagement!
I would say marriage.
Marriage
Definitely marriage.
Never. If, after marriage, he wants my password, I won’t keep a secret from him, but I’m not going to *give* it to him either. He will have to follow a series of elaborate clues involving the Eiffel Tower, Wallace and Grommit, and a 20$ bag of oolong tea just to get the first three digits, MWAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!
Engagement, if I am not willing to release to a complete openness then I obviously should not be looking at being Married. There is wisdom in this I think.
So what if you shared your passwords with your future spouse, at the engagement stage, and they were to spend more time perusing through past conversations, and viewing private messages, emials; and they saw that you were not as transparent as they had been led to believe all along, well certainly this is something that changes a lot of things. I would be very disappointed to learn that there was very undisclosed reality hidden from me. I know I would want to be as transparent as possible, setting forward without secrets, being real, and completely honest about everything is a big part of growing together. Besides we have the Example of Christ in which we would be called to our Spouse…. Christ Died for His Bride, and Gave all things to her, what is there to hide, perhaps there is more to grow by in this than there is to hide from, or rather the growth to grow by is much better than things to hold hidden.
Secrets are nasty little things and turn into vicious storms, the down pour and the cold is always encamped around us anyways why leave off any doubts to insecurity for your spouse.
I don’t see why I would ever need to. If my spouse can see everything on my profile, the only thing he would need the password for would be to change things, and why should he do that? I think spouses should trust each other enough to not have to read every message or email that goes out. I would hate it if my husband did that.
Never. If you were to order a gift online for your spouse and they have access to your email or FB account there’s a strong chance they’ll find out about it. Everyone should be allowed to have a few small secrets of their own.
He shared his passwords (email, Amazon, others?) at some point after we were dating seriously. He also gave me permission to read whatever I wanted in his email. I think I started sharing mine after we were engaged and there was something he needed to know one of them for.
We’re both fairly tech-oriented and for simple, practical reasons, it works best for us to have the option of access to each other’s information.
Short and Sweet: I made the mistake of sharing passwords prior to engagement, it was quite a hassle when things did not work out. I ended up with more information then was beneficial.
I’d say engagement or within a few months of marriage. The point being SURETY of marriage.
Once your married, there should be no anonymity. But this doesn’t mean a spouse is “checking up” on the other. There should be no need of that. Having access to each others info should be simply a pragmatic advantage. (i.e. “Dear, can you look up so information in my inbox for me, thanks.”)
If I don’t trust someone enough with a password, I shouldn’t marry them.
Marriage but most of my girl friends know my passwords…
I would say I agree with the consensus here. I’m amazed that there seems to be a great deal of agreement on this issue. I’d be comfortable sharing a password if needed during engagement or once married. But I agree with the comment about being able to have a secret if it involves a special surprise or gift.
Marriage. But I’d still like to have some privacy for things like online gift purchases, personal emails to and from close friends, etc.
Maybe I’m just too innocent, but I think I should be able to trust my husband to have my password, but not use it unless I asked him to. And likewise, I would not invade his privacy even if I had his password.
It has worked that way for my sisters, mom, and I (we have each others passwords, but we don’t use them unless specifically asked to do something that requires the password.)