Comments on: When to Settle

By: girl4god

girl4god — Sat, 20 Mar 2010 21:51:43 +0000

It’s worth it to wait for a great guy, but I agree…they all have faults…just like we ladies do! The real question is, am I willing to sacrifice my rights and commit to loving an imperfect person, so we both can become more like Christ! (Yes, I am)

By: SilverFire

SilverFire — Mon, 15 Mar 2010 04:42:51 +0000

I have no problem with “providing” as long as a woman is content to live on my salary, but that’s the rub isn’t it? Even in the South, the cost of living has gone up and salaries haven’t kept pace. Then again, I’ve always wondered how people are able to afford buying a brand-new car (unless most people are underwater in debt). I’m sure there’s something about finances that I just don’t get.

By: healthy_obsession

healthy_obsession — Sun, 14 Mar 2010 23:17:33 +0000

Hmmm…I guess my main concern is that how can a man ‘provide for his family’ if he is going into study?

I only say this because Im 22 going into study next year and of course am hoping to meet someone at church whilst Im studying and Im not going to be able to afford to work a job that could provide for both of us, yes there are benefits I can take, but still spare money would have to be brought in by her. Is the fact that I’ll be studying towards a degree that will eventuate in me being able to be the sole breadwinner be enough for a potential wife?

By: donna

donna — Sun, 14 Mar 2010 12:57:52 +0000

@anwelei that’s a good use of the site:) I’m currently enjoying the fellowship on here, nothing like being able to connect with like minded believers even where differences arise!!

By: AndreaElena

AndreaElena — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 05:20:18 +0000

Saucy wenches unite!

My issues with settling seem to have oft arisen from incompatibilities, rather than vastly unrealistic expectations. I wasn’t expecting an Adonis. (Good heavens, I’m no Aphrodite or Helen of Troy or Psyche.)

However, there are times that I look back and I wonder if I was slightly too picky. Then I review what God led me to see about each of the relationships that made it a not-good match for me (and likely, for the guy too), and I again trace the “shape” of His hand in my life… and am reminded of His heart for me.

I think I’ve wasted too much of my life pining for men who didn’t return my affection, “hiding” from the living of life, and not being the best steward of all that I am and all that I have. So… I would be floored if a man who would be a wise choice for me to marry would actually want to be with me! I would be amazed at God’s mercy and grace!

Still don’t know who that man is. Still don’t know if my life is really ready for him to walk into it. In the meantime, I’m glad to cheer on others in their “love journeys.”

So… I think perhaps the word “settle” needs reframing, as it has a kinda neutral connotation (as in, settling down [marrying and "getting serious" about life]) and a negative one (settling for someone, which implies getting the consolation prize). Perhaps we can think of settling as joyfully nestling into the place of nurturing and love that the two spouses, through Christ, help create for each other, for their children, and for those who will enter into their lives in the wider world.

I’m looking forward both to being that “place called home” for my husband and to discovering that he is the same for me.

In the great words of Jean-Luc Picard, please, dear Lord, “make it so.”