Comments on: Marrying Too Soon?

By: LadyElaine80

LadyElaine80 — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 03:36:56 +0000

maybe it’s me, but it sounds like there are two issues at play here:
1) the responsibility of parents to raise their children to be ready spiritually, emotionally, and financially mature for adulthood and marriage

2) the ability of the church to make an effort in living out genuine, safe, authentic community across all demographic lines.

Granted, there are factors at play that attempt to disrupt those things; but I firmly believe if there is a consistent effort in these two areas, not only would you see more early marriages, but you’d see more discipleship, mentoring, and real community.

By: SilverFire

SilverFire — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 03:35:57 +0000

It’s not an idealization of the past to say that people of the past generally were more socially connected — probably as a matter of lack of alternatives. When there is no TV, no radio, no internet, and no movie theatre, you have no choice but to be connected to those around you, especially those that you worship with. That connectedness naturally led to discipleship, mentoring, and so forth, though those terms were not used as such. So to state “marry young” without the supporting social structure I think is a mistake; but if you wait too long to marry, you miss out on a lot of its enjoyment.

By: LadyElaine80

LadyElaine80 — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 23:40:51 +0000

re: Lira, AndreaElena-
I agree: Young adults should be reared emotionally, financially, and spiritually ready for the responsibilities of the marriage covenant. But this is where I get down to the nuts and bots of it all: Where is the real community, mentoring, and discipleship going on in churches? I strongly feel that young adults were experiencing real community, mentoring, and the development of godly character, you would see marriages—but you would also see a Church united by Christ, married and single alike.

By: AndreaElena

AndreaElena — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 22:16:35 +0000

Lira said this:

“The Christian communities are so focused on teaching abstinence that they are neglecting to teach how to be a good spouse. In such environments, marriage is being presented little more than a safe zone for sex, which is just as helpful as tossing petals off a rooftop and screaming “Love conquers all!” As you suggested, young adults should be reared to be emotionally, financially and spiritually ready for the responsibilities of the marriage covenant, and, regrettably, they aren’t.”

And Andrea-Elena is SOCWAWACL – standing on chair waving arms wildly and clapping loudly (alternately, of course).

By: Lira

Lira — Sun, 21 Feb 2010 04:15:12 +0000

LadyElaine80, I think these articles are intended as an insight into other perspectives and choices. Many people make their choices because they’re herded into them. People at 21 who *are* in a good position and of a good personality to marry early are usually discouraged from taking what is a flamingly obvious wise decision because people these days just don’t get married that young anymore. It’s a pretty deeply ingrained preconception that, for some people, needs to be undone. In fact, the article pointed out a lot of preconceived notions that could do with some undoing.
I don’t think the article was trying to create a new mandate as much as it was trying to dislodge the old one.
I thought it made a good point in that the Christian communities are so focused on teaching abstinence that they are neglecting to teach how to be a good spouse. In such environments, marriage is being presented little more than a safe zone for sex, which is just as helpful as tossing petals off a rooftop and screaming “Love conquers all!” As you suggested, young adults should be reared to be emotionally, financially and spiritually ready for the responsibilities of the marriage covenant, and, regrettably, they aren’t.